The love hype is everywhere and in everyone. Suddenly, it has become an another holiday in the Philippines; I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes a non-working holiday soon. Filipinos love talking about love, and it’s universal that we all love to be loved and to love. This is the time when people all over the world will be spending money (actually, I saw the ATMs in Alabang earlier and men already formed a long line in front of it. I guess, it’s the Valentine’s day rush, eh?) on things like chocolates, flowers, and even gifts that they don’t need, some will use this opportunity to travel around and experience the great outdoors. I wish I could’ve done something different too; after all, it is a holiday.
But instead, this is how I spent the Valentine’s Day Eve:
- I woke up at 11:58AM.
- Thought about what I should do while listening to random worship music.
- Reheated my mother’s Pot Roast and Hainanese Chicken for lunch at 1:30.
- Played sims until 4:10PM
- Waited for my dad to go off to work until 5:00PM.
- Finally had the courage to take a cold bath at 5:15PM
- Did my make up for my solo date with my books until 5:58PM
- Reached Starbucks at around 6:30PM
- Had my devo until 8PM
- Read this book about Feminism and Theology (I had this book since 2014. I didn’t have the time to finish it. Now, I got plenty to finish all my books for pleasure.)
- Bought notebooks from the Common Room stalls in Alabang Town Center, which will be up only until tomorrow! They have wonderful finds.
- Talked to a friend until 1:00AM.
I don’t really feel lonely at all this Valentine’s day and that’s a big improvement. All these years of being single in my teens (except my 20th) made me feel like I was unlikeable. Triggered by so many standards, I knew I wouldn’t be taken seriously if I don’t change my appearance. Neither did I know that appearance would only attract people who don’t look on the inside of others.
This is the beauty of God. He sees what is beyond the fading beauty of everyone and He aims to cultivate and transform all of us from glory to glory.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 ESV)
This verse didn’t resonate in my heart for such a long time, but now is imbibed in my heart and spirit. My prayer actually involves a lot of transformation and redemption along the way. If only you knew how deep I am in my insecurities, you wouldn’t feel bad about yours; however, God and I still have a long way to go and what matters is the commitment for the refinement of my inner beauty.
I hope that before we get too excited about the love that is about to be poured out by others on us, we become more grateful towards the One who was the first giver of love. The One who doesn’t look at the outward appearance and judges by it, but digs deep into us and learns more about our hearts – which reveals our true self – and is willing to remove all the unnecessary and sinful things hidden in it.
See you at my next entry!